Your employee sends an email to a co-worker with a polite request. Days pass. No reply.

They come to you - annoyed, anxious, or just plain done - with a familiar question: “What should I do?”

In telling them what to do... what should you do?

1. Tell them to CC the person’s boss
2. You offer to reach out to the person’s boss
3. Coach them on giving it another try themselves

Check out this week’s video and the tips that follow below.

Because this is your moment. Real leadership isn’t just about getting the immediate task done - it’s about helping your team grow while doing it. These situations are less about jumping in, and more about coaching them to pause, think it through, and choose their next move. And in moments like this, they’ve usually got three options - only one of which actually builds their skills, confidence, and relationships.

First, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. If your team works in healthcare, transportation, or a setting where timing is critical, you may need to step in right away. When the issue involves patient care or anything high-stakes and time-sensitive, quick action matters. But in most environments, there’s often a reasonable opportunity to pause and coach before reacting.

Choice 1: Tell Them to CC Their Boss

This can feel satisfying in the moment. They’re frustrated. They want action. They want their message seen. So they say something like, “I’m just going to loop in their manager so they finally respond.” But while that might get a reply, it can also escalate when it's not helpful, and burn bridges that are hard to repair. Especially if this is the first follow-up, it sets a tone that you haven't considered what else may be on their plate. It also teaches the team that the go-to play is to escalate, rather than try other methods of resolving the issue.

Choice 2: You Step In and Message Their Boss Yourself

This one feels helpful. You’re the "fixer," the go-to. And sometimes that’s exactly what’s needed - particularly if this is part of a bigger issue or your team member has already exhausted other avenues. But be mindful: stepping in too early takes the learning opportunity away. They miss the opportunity to think about effective communication and navigating nuance. They also may start to expect that when things get hard, someone else will handle it. Before you jump in, ask yourself: Is this a pattern or a one-off? Have they followed up respectfully? Do they need support - or just coaching on what to say next?

Choice 3: Coach Them to Handle It Productively

This third option - coaching them through the moment - is usually the most effective. And it doesn’t take long.

Encourage your team to step back and consider: What else might be going on? Maybe the person is just back from vacation and trying to catch up on their emails. Maybe their manager told them to focus on one urgent priority and that everything else has to wait. A lack of response doesn’t always mean they’re intentionally ignoring you - it could simply mean they’re juggling more than you can see. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t follow up - it just means you should do it thoughtfully.

Instead of reacting, help your team member pause and think it through. Ask questions like: What outcome are you hoping for? Was your request clear and actionable? Would another email work, or would it be better to call or stop by their desk? Especially when you’re in the same location, a quick conversation can be much more effective - and human - than another message in a crowded inbox. Encourage them to consider not just what they say, but how and when they say it.

Here's an example email (or talking points): 

"Hi [Name], I'm sure you likely have a lot on your plate. I wanted to reach out and explain that I really need a response to [insert request or topic] because [insert reason - e.g., we’re waiting to move forward, it impacts our timeline, etc.]. I also wanted to reach out directly rather than loop in anyone - my boss has been asking me for updates, and I've told them we're all doing our best. I’m hoping we can wrap this up together if possible. If there’s anything I can do to help move it along, just let me know. I’d really appreciate it if you’re able to send it today. Thanks so much." 

This approach can help thread the needle - getting the result (a response) and building stronger relationships with colleagues along the way. Because in some organizations, it’s easy for departments to fall into an “us vs. them” mindset. And while that might feel justified in the moment, it can quickly make work feel like a battle: frustrating and unproductive.

Instead, coaching your team to approach these situations with questions, understanding and respect reinforces something bigger: you’re all on the same team. You’re working toward shared goals, not scoring points. When your team sees you model that - when you help them stay thoughtful rather than reactive ("Yes, that can be so annoying, but there may be things going on that we're not aware of") - you create a culture of collaboration... not conflict. And work becomes something people want to be part of, not something they brace themselves for.

You'll get lots of questions as a manager - but think about how you can use them as opportunities to lead, and remember that how you handle them shapes your team’s mindset. Reacting out of frustration teaches people to push blame or panic. Coaching through it teaches people to reflect, choose the right tone and stay calm under pressure. That’s the kind of team you want, and that's the leadership your team needs.

Tired of your managers and employees winging it?
Give your team the tools to lead, communicate and handle real-world situations with confidence—resolving issues on their own when they can, and knowing when it’s time to reach out (not long after they should have). Our training packages for managers and employees help managers drive results without driving people out the door, and employees effectively ask for help, communicate clearly and work through challenges as a team.