As a manager, the first time you're part of a conversation about letting someone go - whether it was your call, your boss's call, or something that came down from above - you may think, "nobody actually prepared me for this."

Firing someone is one of the hardest things managers do. (And, frankly, that's not only natural, but very warranted). But it's also something you likely will have to do at some point.

Whether you're dealing with a performance issue that's been building for months (or far longer), a policy violation that made the decision for you, or a layoff you didn't even see coming until it was already happening - the way you show up in that moment matters. Not just legally. Not just for the employee. For your whole team, and for yourself as a leader.

Here are three things to think through every single time.

1. Why Are They Being Let Go - And Would They Think It's Fair?

This is the question managers skip most often, but one that's a must-do. You may think, "We've already made the decision. Why second-guess it? Is this just HR slowing things down?"

But this isn't about second-guessing. It's about pressure-testing.

Ask yourself: If this employee could tell their side of the story right now - would there be information you don't have? Would they say they were never clearly trained on what was expected? Would they point to someone else on the team and ask why they're not the one being let go?

I've seen a "we're letting them go" decision turn into a "wait, we need to have a real conversation first" realization - because when someone actually talked to the employee, it turned out there had been a total miscommunication all along. That conversation not only avoided a termination, it saved a team member who ended up being a really strong performer once they had the right context.

That question doesn't always mean you'll change your mind. Sometimes that conversation confirms the decision needs to happen. Sometimes it opens a door you didn't know existed - a retraining conversation, a role that's a better fit or finding new information that makes you glad you didn't let them go.

Why does this matter? I'll put my lawyer hat on for a minute. Laws and regulations around the world vary wildly when it comes to terminations of employment. In the US, 49 out of 50 states are at-will (Montana is the exception), which means employers generally don't have to give a reason for termination. But at-will status doesn't prevent someone from bringing a legal claim if they're let go - discrimination, retaliation, and other protected-class issues can still apply. More importantly, at-will doesn't mean consequence-free. Employees who feel blindsided or mistreated talk. They leave reviews. Sometimes they call lawyers.

Fairness isn't just an ethical concern. It's a business one.

So, before you let someone go, consider their side of the story. If other people on the team have had similar performance and haven't been let go, it's even more important to make sure this is the appropriate next step.

2. What Are You Going to Say?

Here's something you'll often hear from outside employment lawyers, your company's legal team and even some HR teams: Say as little as possible when you're letting someone go.

And I get it. Less said, less that can be disputed or misquoted or used against you.

But "say as little as possible" is advice built around protecting the organization - not around the human being on the other side of that table.

That person is losing their job. They may not know how they're going to pay their mortgage or rent. They may be sitting there wondering whether they did something wrong, whether they could have done something differently, whether this is going to follow them. Saying we're just going in a different direction and walking out the door doesn't protect them from any of that. It just leaves them with no context to make sense of what happened.

Once you've decided termination is happening, the goal isn't to give a speech or relitigate the decision. But wherever possible - and in consultation with your HR and legal teams, who should absolutely be part of this - think about what you can say. Some context around what led to the decision. What this person is actually good at. What you hope they'll take forward.

"We're going in a different direction" might feel cleaner, or nicer, than "You weren't performing like we expected you to." But it can make a hard moment feel degrading. And employees who feel disrespected on the way out? They don't stay quiet about it.

3. What Happens After?

This one gets overlooked - a lot.

Depending on where you are in the world, there may be notice periods, pay in lieu of notice, or other legal requirements around when someone's employment actually ends. In the US, the system can feel jarring by global standards - someone can be let go immediately with no notice requirement in most states. That's why it's always important to know (from your Legal or HR team) what applies in your situation.

But beyond the logistics, think about what happens to the people left behind.

Your other team members are watching. When someone leaves - especially in a layoff they didn't see coming - the people who are still there are wondering two things: Is this going to happen to me? And is it okay to reach out to that person?

As part of your internal conversations, give your team some guidance. In most situations (outside of cases involving serious misconduct), it's completely appropriate - and much needed by the person let go - for colleagues to reach out and check in on someone who just lost their job. Telling your team that is okay. It can mean more to the departing person than you'd expect.

And from you personally? Even if the relationship wasn't close, or even if the departure was hard - a short, human message after the fact, and an offer to help them in their next role, can make a meaningful difference to someone who just lost a job and maybe feels like they disappeared from the organization - and lost their confidence - overnight.

That's not weakness. That's leadership.

What to take away: Letting someone go is hard. It should be hard. But thinking through the why, being intentional about what you say, and following through on what happens after - those are the things that separate managers who handle this well from managers who make an already difficult situation worse.

Your choices make all the difference.

If you lead a team of managers or you're in HR looking for tools to help your organization navigate hard conversations like this one - like what to actually say when you're letting someone go - check out the Manager Method platform for teams → managermethod.com/hr

Or if you're an individual manager building your skills, Manager 101 is built for exactly this kind of situation → managermethod.com/manager-101