Leadership moments don’t always happen in performance reviews or big team meetings.

Sometimes they happen in regular conversations, before someone even joins your organization.

One of those moments changed my career, and it became the foundation for my new book, The Manager Method. Watch it here (it's just 4 minutes) and read below for more about this moment and how you can bring it to life in your leadership.  

The Leadership Moment That Changed My Career

Early in my career, I was working at a law firm, and I was completely exhausted. The nature of the job (in most law firms) can feel like the work never truly ends. Nights, weekends, constantly thinking about what was waiting for me the next morning. Even when I technically wasn't working, I still felt like I was.

I knew it wasn’t sustainable, but I also didn’t know what the alternative was. I’d worked hard to get there. I didn’t want to do anything that might risk my career or make me seem like I couldn’t handle it.

Then a client I worked with told me they were hiring an in-house lawyer and asked if I wanted to interview.

I wanted that job badly.

And I had a million questions. Very real and important (to me) questions. The ones that matter to people once they get in the role: What the hours would be like, whether I’d ever get a weekend back, what it was actually like day-to-day. 

But was I going to ask any of them? Absolutely not.

Because I wanted the job, and I assumed asking those questions meant I would definitely not get the job. In a job search that feels hard enough, no one wants to make it harder. So I walked into that interview hoping to gauge subtle clues that could give me answers.

And then something happened. I share the full story in the video, but it was my future boss proactively laying out both the good and the hard parts of the role before I even had to ask.

And what stood out even more was that his life looked completely different from mine. I was in a two-working-parents household with a toddler at home, and he still took the time to recognize what would actually matter to me.

Saying I appreciated that transparency is an understatement. I ended up taking the job, and it didn’t just change the work I was doing. It gave me a life outside of work again for the first time since graduating law school.

And it wasn't just about that job. That moment became the foundation for everything I teach in The Manager Method: transparency, clear communication and respect in the everyday decisions that shape how people experience work.

What This Means for Hiring Today

Here’s the question I want managers to think about: When you’re hiring, how do you describe the role?

- Do you focus mostly (or only) on the good parts?
- Do you wait for candidates to ask the hard questions (and if they do, do you judge them)?
- Or do you proactively explain the real parts of the job upfront?

Because it's important to me to recognize where people are coming from. And a lot of managers wait for candidates to ask the hard questions, and then judge them when they do. But here’s what so many managers miss: Candidates often don’t ask what they really want to know. And when you bring them up, it's a massive green flag.

Because the power dynamics at work, especially in a job search, are real. They don’t want to seem difficult or lose the opportunity. So they stay quiet, cross their fingers and hope. And then later, when the job doesn’t match what they imagined, it feels like a surprise.

Surprises at work generally aren't a good thing. Transparency is.

How to Talk About the Tough Parts of the Role

Every job has hard parts. Pretending otherwise doesn’t help anyone.

(And to be clear, there’s a big difference between being upfront about what’s challenging and asking people to tolerate something that’s actually unreasonable. If being honest would scare everyone off, that might be a sign something needs to change.)

But a lot of managers don’t know what to say to make sure candidates and new hires are truly opting in with clear eyes.

In the book, I share practical talking points for how to have those conversations, including how to get input from your current team so you’re setting expectations the right way. Because the cost of glossing over the tough parts is always higher later, when someone starts, quits quickly, and you’re right back to hiring again. Or worse, you end up with a revolving door.

Creating Leadership Moments on Purpose

This is exactly what The Manager Method is about: driving results without driving people out the door. 

Because I know all too well that managers are focused on the results that are needed to keep their teams afloat. But that tight jeans leadership can make your job harder, and you may not actually get the results you could if you threaded the needle to find a human approach to leading your team.

It’s about making small, intentional decisions in the seemingly small moments that build trust and alignment, starting with hiring, onboarding and every conversation after.

That’s where my framework comes in:

Pause. Consider. Act.

- Pause before you default into the polished job description.
- Consider what it feels like to be the candidate sitting across from you.
- Act with clarity and honesty so people can make informed decisions.

That’s how leadership moments are created.

The Manager Method (Out February 10th)

The Manager Method releases in less than two weeks, and it’s full of straightforward, usable advice for managers who care about doing right by their people and growing in their careers.

I wouldn't have this book without the experiences I've had, both personally and in guiding managers from KFC to McKinsey. And I wouldn't have this book without your support. If you've appreciated my advice, your preorder can truly make all the difference.

Preorder here: https://managermethod.com/book