There's a special kind of dread that comes with knowing you have to tell someone something that you think - or know - they don't want to hear.

You have news that needs to be delivered, and now you're sitting there wondering: Do I just rip the band-aid? Soften it? Lead with context? Hope they don't really think about it until the meeting is over?

If you hoped for the last option, you're completely human. But I'll also give you an alternative.

In this week's video, I share a personal story from my time as an in-house lawyer - one where I was on the receiving end of news I didn't want to hear, and what my manager said (and didn't say) that made all the difference. Watch it for the full story, and keep reading for the practical tips I've taken from that experience (and now use to help managers do the thing you dread the most).

1. Expect emotions - and plan for them

When people hear change, they almost always make it bigger in their head than it actually is. That's not drama. It's how humans process uncertainty. So before you even say a word, remind yourself: what feels routine to you as a manager can feel massive to the person sitting across from you. 

You might think of it as delivering a piece of information - but they're filtering it through a career and a life's worth of experiences that can make even small changes feel loaded. That awareness alone changes how you show up to and have the conversation. You stop being surprised by a strong reaction and start being prepared for it. 

2. Context isn't optional - it's essential

One of the biggest mistakes managers make is assuming their team already knows the "why." They likely don't, or they've forgotten. Or they know the general concept, but haven't connected it to their situation right now.

Before you deliver the news, think about what context you can give:

- What's the purpose behind this change? Not just the what - the why.

- Is this temporary or permanent? "This is a 12-to-18-month stint" sounds very different than "this is your new role forever."

- What stays the same? People fixate on what's changing. Remind them of what isn't.

A sentence or two of context can be the difference between someone leaving a meeting deflated and staring at their screen for the rest of the day, and someone who actually understands what's happening and leaves with a plan.

3. "This is an opportunity" only works if you connect it to something real

Yes, you should help people see the upside. But it's important to think about how to effectively say it. "Think of it as an opportunity!" without explaining what kind of opportunity isn't as helpful as you likely intend (because without context, your team member might take those words as an insult.)

Try this instead: connect the experience to something they actually care about.

- Are they interested in a promotion? "The decision-makers for those roles are going to be looking for exactly this kind of experience."

- Do they want to build credibility on cross-functional teams? "This is how you get it."

- Worried they'll be behind? "A year from now, you'll have something most people in your position don't."

Specificity and perspective is what makes a reframe be truly heard - and acted on. 

4. Have words ready if they go quiet

If you have a team member who's normally chatty but just... stops talking. Who doesn't ask questions and instead nods their way through the meeting.

That silence is feedback. Don't ignore it.

After the meeting, try something like: "Hey, I noticed you seemed a little quiet in there and I wanted to check in. Is there anything you want to talk through?"

That one sentence opens the door. It says: I see you, I'm paying attention to your reaction and I want you to be honest. It's also exactly what my manager did - and it changed the whole trajectory of that conversation. (If you didn't watch the video, scroll back up to watch.)

5. Be honest about the hard parts, too

Nobody trusts a manager who makes everything sound like sunshine. If there are going to be aspects that are hard or uncomfortable, say so.

"I'm not going to pretend this is going to be easy or feel fun every day. Some days it might be genuinely hard. But here's what I know, and here's what support looks like..."

Calling out the difficulty doesn't make it worse. It actually builds trust. It tells your team member: my manager is being honest with me. And that matters a lot more than a polished talking point.

The framework underneath all of this - what's changing, what's not, the purpose, the support and the opportunity - is exactly what I walk through in the video this week, with a real example from my own career where I had to figure this out as the employee, not just the manager.

Because sometimes the best lessons about managing people come from the moments before we were the one doing the managing.

Want practical tips like this in your inbox every week? Sign up for the Manager Method Minute at managermethod.com/newsletter.

And if you want to go deeper on having the conversations most managers avoid, The Manager Method is your guide - grab your copy and free resources at managermethod.com/book.