If you’ve ever had that moment where you think, “Why does being a manager feel this hard?” you’re in good (or very common) company. Most people are promoted because they did a great job in an individual contributor role, not because they were trained to lead others doing that role. It’s a huge shift - and one most organizations underestimate.

In this week’s video (and the tips below), I break down what makes managing people so challenging and what you can do to feel more confident and calm in the day-to-day - whether you're managing for the first time, or the fifteenth.

1. Give yourself credit for caring (because that already sets you apart)

So many managers are thrown into leadership with no guidance, no training and no roadmap. The fact that you’re seeking out resources, reflecting on your approach and trying to show up well for your team puts you miles ahead. Great management starts with wanting to be intentional.

You're reading a blog about managing well - you’re already doing something right!

2. A calm manager creates a calmer team

You don’t have to have all the answers. You do have to set the tone.

When something unexpected happens - a missed deadline, an absence, a small mistake that feels big in the moment - your team is watching how you respond. A grounded, resourceful “Okay, let’s figure it out” tells your team:

- We’re capable

- We’ll get through this

- There’s no need to hide problems

Calm is a leadership skill, and it’s one of the best you can develop.

3. Teaching feels slow (or repetitive) in the moment, but it pays off quickly

One of the most common frustrations managers share is this: “It’s faster if I just do it myself.”

And they’re right - today. But next week and next month, that same task will still be on their plate because no one else learned how to do it.

Reframe it this way:
You’re not slowing down productivity. You’re building a team that can run without you having to personally power every task. That’s real leadership.

4. Let your team learn from the lessons you’ve already paid for

Most managers have learned their best lessons from the moments they messed up. But almost no one talks about those stories.

Sharing your own learning moments helps your team:

- Understand your expectations

- Feel safe coming to you when they’re unsure

- Learn faster without repeating the same pitfalls

You don’t need to overshare - just be human. People connect with leaders who are real.

5. Get curious instead of assuming

There’s so much managers don’t know unless they ask - motivations, stressors, strengths, fears. And those differences really matter.

Try simple questions that open the door:

- “What part of this feels unclear?”

- “What’s something you’d love to learn more about?”

- “Where do you feel stuck?”

- “What do you want out of your career here?”

Managers who ask questions lead teams who communicate. Managers who assume end up surprised (and not in a good way).

6. Your impact travels far beyond your team’s daily output

The work your team does matters. But the way people feel doing that work might matter even more.

Studies have shown that managers influence stress, engagement, health, confidence, and career decisions. People remember how you made them feel on their hardest days.

That’s the real weight - and privilege - of leadership.

7. Make space for real conversations

One of the most underrated tools managers have is simply making time to talk - not just about deadlines, but about how someone is doing the work.

This means:

- Checking in before people get overwhelmed

- Talking openly about burnout and workload

- Encouraging questions instead of rewarding silence

- Creating “tell me where you're stuck” moments

Your team feels the difference between a manager who checks boxes and a manager who checks in because they actually care.

Conclusion: For Managers and HR

If you’re a manager, it's important to know this: you don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be present, curious and willing to grow. Your team wants (and deserves) someone who communicates clearly, supports them and brings a little calm into all the chaos.

And if you’re in HR, this is your reminder that managers usually need more support than they get. Even the simplest tools - a script, a framework or pointing them to a helpful resource - can make a real difference for someone who wants to do the right thing but never got the playbook.

Since these tips aren't just for managers, but also for HR teams and potential managers, the next blogs (and videos) will include tips for those groups - on what can be helpful for you to know. So keep reading!