There’s one thing nearly every team member believes about their manager: that you're a wizard - meaning you "just know" everything (especially about them).

You just know what’s on their plate. You just know their priorities. You just know who’s asking them for what, what they’re excited about and what’s draining them.

Or at least, they think you should.

But you don’t know until you learn. And learning means asking questions and explaining why you’re asking. Because without that context, even the most well-intentioned question can come across the wrong way. That’s where a lot of "manager-team disconnects" begin. You think you’re being helpful, but your team hears something completely different. 

I talk about this in this week’s video below - and keep reading to learn how to bridge that gap and what to say instead.

The “Wizard” Effect

Every manager faces this. You’re trying to delegate, plan or check in, and your team assumes you already have all the information. Meanwhile, you’re doing your best with only part of the picture - not because you don’t care, but because no manager can truly see everything their team is balancing.

So when you say one thing, they often hear another. The good news is that a few simple tweaks in how you communicate can make those moments land completely differently.

1. When You Delegate a Task

You say:
“Can you take this on?”

Your team hears:
“I know exactly how much work you have - and you'll just need to add this to it.”

Even if you’ve thought about their development and believe the assignment aligns with their goals, your team might interpret it as you ignoring their workload or assuming they can just make it happen.

What to add instead:
“I want to talk through this new task and how it fits with what’s already on your plate. I don’t want to assume I know everything you’ve got going on, so let’s look at priorities together and decide what makes sense.”

This turns a directive into a conversation that shows awareness and respect for their time and capacity.

2. When You Ask, “What’s on Your Plate?”

You say:
“What’s on your plate right now?”

Your team hears:
“Are you working hard enough?”

It’s a simple question, but without context, it can sound like an audit. Most employees don’t want to seem like they have too little to do (for fear of looking replaceable) or too much (for fear of seeming disorganized). Cue the mental gymnastics.

What to add instead:
“When you hear that question, you might think, ‘Why are they asking?’ so I want to explain exactly why - it’s not a test to see if you can take on more. I’m asking because I never want to assume I already know, and want to both make sure I do and where you could use help, even just talking through one or a few things you're working on."

This gives your team permission to be honest and ask for help without worrying about how it will be perceived. It shows that your goal is to balance, not judge.

3. When You Say, “My Door’s Always Open”

You say:
“My door’s always open - come to me anytime.”

Your team hears:
“Only come to me if it’s really important (and you’re sure you won’t look foolish).”

That phrase is kind, but power dynamics are real. Even confident employees hesitate to approach their manager, especially if they’re unsure how their question will land.

What to add instead:
“I know it’s not always easy to bring up questions or concerns, so I’ll try to check in first instead of waiting for you to come to me. And if something’s unclear, message me - if I can't focus on it right then, we’ll find a time to talk.”

By taking the first step, you make it clear that communication isn’t a one-way invitation. It’s part of how you lead.

Why This Matters

Your team isn’t looking for a perfect manager - they’re looking for one who actually listens and tries to understand what it’s like in their shoes. When you explain why you’re asking questions or delegating tasks, you show them that you see them as people, not just performers. 

Because even the best managers aren’t wizards. They’re humans who care enough to learn what they don’t know, and say it out loud.

Want to Learn More?

Ready to build stronger communication habits and make work better for both managers and their teams? Check out Manager Method. You’ll find our online courses, toolkits and practical resources for managers and HR leaders who want to create real change across a group of leaders - no wizardry required.